Should you share your relationship online?

Photo: Jaden Brimhall

Photo: Jaden Brimhall

This weekend was my 3 yrs anniversary and we spent it volunteering for the local 4x5 Photofest in San Antonio. No frills…just some flowers and a sweet post from Sinjin you can find at the end of this.

People ask me how I can be so open on social media about my relationships over the last 10 yrs; if I’m ashamed of the ones that didn’t work out and if I regret posting so much of my life...

Not for a single second if it means people keep taking chances. I’m a documenter. As a professional scrapbooker and DIYer years ago, we learned to document and share daily.

I see it this way... If you lost a job that you had always posted about on fb as your favorite job, would you then not post when you got another job? Would you not celebrate moving forward from that trial and taking a chance on a new one?

I have never been embarrassed of failed marriage, friendships or relationships. It’s why I don’t use the word forever but I have truly been taught Love is something that moves and shifts for each individual in relationships.

I was broken apart when I learned forever was not possible for me with my marriage. And vowed to never allow myself to be bitter and never allow it to lead me away from love or continue sharing it.

Lately I have had a lot of anxiety about things from my past replaying themselves since I’m working as for lack of a better term “life” coach and what that would look like. So I decided to move forward with not being ashamed of those things.

Celebrating the now is all I care about.

Even yesterday we had our own disagreement about something and could have chosen not to celebrate the 3 years we have made it through some of the toughest times we’ve both ever endured.

But my motto has and always will be “tomorrow is a new day.”

And it is. No matter how many times love has hurt us, we can wake to choose it again.

No matter how many lovely photos we see online, it’s important to know there are as many struggles happening for people.

And nothing says you can’t celebrate whatever you want. The good, the hard, the crazy.

We are entering a time where people are looking to others as examples of hope, authenticity and freedom of judgment.

Judgment has no place in my life. Not toward me or by me.

So can I have a fight with my boyfriend and post a photo days later? Yep.

Can I admit love is different for us all and looks different to each of us in how we celebrate it... whether quietly or openly? Absolutely.

I choose to share my life.

Sometimes that leads to an un-friend or follow but it’s lead to many more “I am so thankful for your real ness” by strangers across the web.

When we shine our light, we give others permission to do so as well.

And that goes for overcoming illness, death, failed businesses or personal struggles.

Life is never perfect and we are not vain for celebrating the good moments God has gifted me with any human. Whether it be in a romantic relationship or friendship or work.

Life can however be delightfully imperfect and still worth sharing to inspire, relate to or impact others.

I remember yrs ago being asked once if I would be embarrassed if a certain relationship didn’t work out after being so public (we were on shows and bigger things).

My answer absolutely not. Was Elizabeth Taylor?

So to honor my 3 yr anniversary with Sinjin Hilaski, I won’t post another post about three yrs of travels and experiences (although they are definitely bookworthy), I will just share his post and my perspective in hopes that more people allow themselves the freedom to love how they want, celebrate how they want, and release themselves of the pressure of having to get it right.

We love, we grow, we change in all other areas and people accept us showcasing it.

We should be allowed to do the same with relationships.

Highlight the journey that is two people learning to love one another in different ways daily while navigating learning to fully love themselves.

And the post below is why I love Sinjin. He sees me in ways I don’t see myself and celebrates parts of me that I wouldn’t.

He’s not the “I don’t post on social media babe.” type of guy that shys away from posting his love openly. Knowing he may get some eye rolls. Those are my kinda people.

And that is worth sharing and celebrating no matter how many people like or ignore it.

So Happy Anniversary Sinjin. You are one amazing rollercoaster of life partner! 🤟🏻

Sinjin’s post below.

XO, Kimberly Kay

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Sinjin’s sweet post (There is a reason he is the better writer):

Happy 3 year Anniversary to this perpetually stunning woman!

Aside from her dedication to 70s night wear, I mean really though 😍, one of the things I love about my queen is that she still managed to make a day about her reframed into a day where we had the opportunity to serve others—but that should come as no surprise that she chose others over herself.

She is that giving soul who places others above herself and decided to forgo frills and spend our three year anniversary covering a photo fest together this weekend. She is a true testament to putting others before self and there’s rarely ever a time she asks for more from others, unless she’s asking you about Korean BBQ—in which case, there is none and never was any. The kimchi at home is a misnomer babe, I have no idea where it came from—aliens or spies is a theory.

I’m grateful that I haven’t had to wish these last three years with Kim. Somehow, by luck, fortune, divine favor or whatever otherworldly thing that exists to help dictate paths, I was graced with you, and to whom or what I owe thanks I’ll never know or be able to actually annunciate my gratitude.

I have always had an awe at your ability to take risks, throw wild caution to the wind, and despite odds, naysayers, illness and like everything that could be thrown at a person, you still smile and walk toward your own challenges with grace to leave them conquered, attempted and almost always done in a style that’s uniquely you to the core. Overcoming deaths, illnesses, professional worries, lifelong issues and everything else under the sun that could ever befall a human and has, you are your own symbol of the indomitably of the human spirit and how to handle life with confidence, poise and above all an eagerness for the challenge the inevitable fun that ensues when you let go and give in to life.

You are easily one of the most sacrificial human beings who has ever walked the earth and the world is better for you existing in it with every human who has ever encountered you truly benefiting from simply crossing paths for extended periods or mere moments—and I’ve yet to know people who don’t feel the same way.

I’m forever grateful to the universe, and you broadening my perspective about said universe, for bringing me to you and likewise. We have for sure been through a lot and I’m fairly sure covered more relationship markers than most folks go through normally and I couldn’t be happier to have done it all with you. Traveling around with you is my most coveted memories and i can’t wait to continue our ever-developing personal, spiritual and literal journey together. To say that you forgo your own comfort for others doesn’t even begin to truly capture the amount of time you spend helping friends, family, me, strangers, the guy at Valero, the random person who also loves vanilla Dr. Pepper or any of the other assorted strangers you befriend and suddenly have a lifelong friend in. You are remarkable, curious and I love you.